Friday, January 08, 2010

isn't music magical?

current repeats:
ten mile stilts - the wailin' jennys
weird fishes/arpeggi - radiohead
the seeker - the who
personal jesus - depeche mode
it's alright ma - bob dylan
feuilles-o - simon and garfunkel
red rubber ball - simon and garfunkel
wanted dead or alive - peter tosh
glosoli - sigur ros
uprising - muse
happiness is a warm gun - the beatles
the world exploded into love - bob schneider
lord help the poor and needy - cat power
the morning song - sherree chamberlain
porcelain - moby
hotel song - regina spektor
criminal - fiona apple
rasta man chant - peter tosh and bob marley

new/re discoveries:
eugene francis jnr
josh ritter
mutemath
rodrigo y gabriela

listening to: the wailin' jennys.

i haven't used the blog in awhile and promised myself that i would start when January came. so, here i am.

when i created this a few years ago, my aim was to talk about my experience in Cairo and keep things somewhat academic, as most people who read this are back in the states and wanted to be filled in on LIFE here. Then, I viewed this place and my time here as an extended trip, to gain an education... I didn't really go past that. Since then, Cairo has become my home. I live and thrive here and that involves so much more than simply telling a story about class or seemingly strange things that occur. i've battled with writing, and not writing... and writing again because i never knew where to start. i didn't know what people wanted to read. now that i've picked this up again, i've decided to just use this to share life. Share life with anyone who reads or stumbles upon this little writing jewel. whether that be sharing a song, a story, or what have you... i will share me.

christmas was beautiful and i spent time with a dear friend on the beach, talking through life... looking back on 2009 and looking forward into 2010. included in my writings from my time in nuweiba were two major lists: one being the biggest things i've learned this past year and also what i want to achieve in 2010. these self-reflective times in life are significant. they allow you to be in total awareness of yourself... not only who you are, as an individual, but how you actually live. what makes you breathe. what your passions are. until we can embrace that and fully love ourselves for who we are, we will never be able to love those around us, which.. is one of my ultimate goals in life. to always love.

so, here are my lists.

2009 - What I learned.
1. Putting yourself first. For as long as I can remember... every morning, my mother would sit and have a cup of coffee by herself. whether it be on the patio, or the living room in winter... no matter how early she had to wake, she spent the first 30 minutes of her day alone... and still does. I never really grasped the importance of this until lately. my mother is one of the most loving and giving people that I know. I also know, that if it wasn't for her morning cup of coffee and the ability for her to hide herself away in those times and embrace the silence of the moment, she wouldn't be able to fully engage with those around her and soak in all the goodness that various relationships have to offer. We must be able to be at peace with our own hearts and minds before being at peace with others. Staring life in the face is sometimes scary but it's refreshing and always worth it.

2. The value of friendship. I feel like the older I get, the more important true friendship becomes. You learn what friendship is and what it isn't. In friendship you find love, connection, honesty, depth, joy, and the list goes on. It's about living life with others and experiencing that! This year in particular, I've been overwhelmingly blessed. A few people come to mind... Mom, Michelle, Nathan, Hillary, Steven, Rachael, Rebecca, Mark, Eddie, Reem, and Anne. Whether it be the importance of positive energy (Hillary and Steven), the power of gratitude (my mother), or the goodness of laughter... each of these people have taught me something different. I've shared wonderful moments with each of them and the laughter is never ending. I'm thankful for that.

3. Simplicity. Whether it be the song you haven't heard in ages or the smile from the stranger on the street... the simple moments in life are both rewarding and more important than any big situation or planned event. There have been so many times this year where the most simple word, action, feeling, or situation has not only taught me something but reminded me about how good Life truly is, how lucky I am to have what I have. If anyone is reading this, I encourage you to make a list of the simple things in life that not only provide happiness and feel-good times, but teach us to constantly grow. If anyone is actually reading this, I encourage you to keep a list. You will realize how truly rich your life is. These things are most often times financially free :) I keep a list of these in my journal and I'm always adding to it... a few of mine include being spontaneous... it keeps you feeling fresh. the way the morning sunshine can compel you into your day... it helps you breathe. the feeling of sand between your toes... it's magical and raw. having conversations with children... faith and imagination at it's core.

2010 - Goals.
1. Balance. I want to strive for balance. Let's face it, life sucks sometimes. It's not always pretty and not always positive but if we chose to embrace the bad times and learn in those difficult moments, we will be able to fully embrace the good. and recognize it. and be thankful. Finding balance in life, through everything, is healthy. and rewarding. This is a big one and I haven't wrapped my mind or heart around it yet. I know that for me, my mind is barely functioning at times while my heart is always in full force. I need to work on that.

2. To be me. Uninhibited. We so often struggle with identity because we want to see ourselves a certain way and BE seen a certain way... it's exhausting. I want to be me... to everyone and not hold back. Fear of failure and disappoint often keep me from being who I am and truly living life doesn't work that way. I've learned that when I am who I am, at my very core, I am most happy and at peace. It's refreshing and so freeing.

3. A giver. When we are able to be who we are, and know where we are in life, and put ourselves first... it comes naturally. I want to always give back everything I've been taught, everything I've been blessed with. Positive energy and any energy for that matter, I believe, belongs to a greater good. I want to be a part of that! This world is too good to keep to ourselves.